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A Hand in C Major (2022)

A fig leaf leading to the main works page of the website

Performance, 20 min.


A study of boundaries in community.

When my clear, well-articulated and deeply embodied no wasn’t heard, the bitterness that came out of it manifested itself on my hands as clenched fists. My body lost equilibrium in tension & release, got stuck in rigidity with sizzling hands. I heard it in my breath too; my typical breath in C Major, in tune with my curiosity, openness, my easy reach to love, compassion and connection changed key and started sounding D Minor to me: resentful, cold, detached from safety and belonging, calling for the guidance of anger.

A child of the element earth, when I am transgressed, I harden. Finding back softness, the C Major, the opening/flowing/receiving/giving hand is further complicated with nuances of the kind of culture I wish to participate in. With our bodies and their entanglements, with our practices of accountability, with loving our and others’ boundaries, with the sacred work of building trust. Nervous system care, movement and dance, support of loved ones, newly emerging possibilities of interdependence, the alchemy of grief, the sun, the element water and other kin carried me to a more healed state, where I could leave the light on for reconciliation, love and many futures that can take place from the base of an open hand.

Credits, Inspiration & Lineage

Ecologies of Transformation, Camille Barton, Nagaré Willemsen.
The GEN Grief Toolkit, embodied social justice practices and many other offerings by Camille Barton.
Si/Lo, (QT)BIPOC Not-Contact Improvisation and other offerings by Joy Mariama Smith (including the t-shirt).
Offerings, words, shared joy and guidance of Victoria McKenzie.
Practices with Char Azad, as well as generous, loving healing work in times of feeling D minor.
Dear Ecologies of Transformation friends.
Clown Intensive by Sabine Choucair of Clown Me In.
Towards a Black Ecopoet(h)ics by Ama Josephine B. Johnstone.
The Politics of Trauma: Somatics, Healing, and Social Justice, Staci Haines.
I Hope We Choose Love, and deeper understanding of conflict, by Kai Cheng Thom.
Pleasure Activism, adrienne maree brown.
Then of course; Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde.
Embodied Activism (Embodied Social Justice Summit), Nkem Ndefo & Rae Johnson.
Finding Our Way podcast, Prentis Hemphill.
Non-Violent Communication course and so many words for feelings and needs by Meenadchi.
The Resilience Toolkit by Nkem Ndefo, conveyed by Char Azad and Wang​ũi.
Portals & Ritual course by Evan Ifekoya.
Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement, Ejeris Dixon, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha.
Shostakovich: The Present-Day Master of the C major Key, David Fanning.
Embodied Trauma-Informed Practice by Lumos Transforms, conveyed by Camille Barton.
Theatre of the Oppressed, Augusto Boal.
Technical help by Rick Haring, the MediaLab, Ineke, Ramon, Ivo.
Video documentation and precious feedback by Ariane Boot.
Photography by Dora Lionstone
Sound Material
It's All Coming Back to Me Now, Celine Dion.
Maria, Oscar Hammerstein II and Richard Rodgers.
Rehab, Amy Winehouse.
No Not One, LaShun Pace.
Genie in a Bottle, Christina Aguilera.
Etude in D Minor, Carlos Feller.
Georg Philipp Telemann Fantasia #5 C Major for flute solo, Katja Pitelina.
Çargâh Peşrev in C Major, Resat Aysu.
The Piano Sonata No 16 in C major, Mozart.
Bolero, Maurice Ravel.
Also sprach Zarathustra Op 30, Richard Strauss.
Symphony No 100 in G Major 2nd Movement Allegretto, Joseph Haydn.
Imagine, John Lennon.
Prelude in C Major, Johann Sebastian Bach.
Çargâh Oyun Havası in C Major, Cihat Askin.
The Barber of Seville Largo Al Factotum Figaro, Rossini.
Carmen, Habanera, Bizet.
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, Johann Sebastian Bach.
O Fortuna Carmina Burana, Carl Orff.
Overture to Don Giovanni, Mozart. Requiem in D minor Lacrimosa dies illa, Mozart.
Oboe Concerto in D Minor Adagio, Alessandro Marcello.
Night on the Bald Mountain, Mussorgsky.
Dances from Borodins Prince Igor, Polovtsian.
Requiem Introit Kyrie Herreweghe, Mozart.
The Sun is Down, Lady Gaga and Yoko Ono live at the Orpheum Theater.
could cry just thinkin about you, Troye Sivan.
Say It, Maggie Rogers.
Light On, Maggie Rogers.

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