A Hand in C Major (2022)
Performance, 20 min.
A study of boundaries in community.
When my clear, well-articulated and deeply embodied no wasn’t heard, the bitterness that came out of it manifested itself on my hands as clenched fists. My body lost equilibrium in tension & release, got stuck in rigidity with sizzling hands. I heard it in my breath too; my typical breath in C Major, in tune with my curiosity, openness, my easy reach to love, compassion and connection changed key and started sounding D Minor to me: resentful, cold, detached from safety and belonging, calling for the guidance of anger.
A child of the element earth, when I am transgressed, I harden. Finding back softness, the C Major, the opening/flowing/receiving/giving hand is further complicated with nuances of the kind of culture I wish to participate in. With our bodies and their entanglements, with our practices of accountability, with loving our and others’ boundaries, with the sacred work of building trust. Nervous system care, movement and dance, support of loved ones, newly emerging possibilities of interdependence, the alchemy of grief, the sun, the element water and other kin carried me to a more healed state, where I could leave the light on for reconciliation, love and many futures that can take place from the base of an open hand.